still adjusting...

For those of you that didn't hear, about 2 weeks into the deployment, I noticed Nora was having a hard time. Recurrent unexplainable fevers, and some behavior issues. At first I chalked it up to teething, then sickness, then travel, and finally came to the conclusion it was probably stress related.



We have since made it through the fevers, but Nora is still having a hard time understanding why Phil isn't here. I suppose, she will go through a whole range of behaviors and emotions relating to the deployment all the way past when Phil gets home. I had hoped she was young enough for it to have less effect on her, and maybe it is crazy to think that being younger would be easier, nevertheless, she is, at times, really struggling.



Right now, bedtime is our main issue. She is terrified to be left alone in her room and has consequently moved into mine! While I do love waking up next to my sweet little girl, I would prefer to have my bed to myself, so it is an issue we are working on.



In addition to our bedtime battles, she is reacting much more to mention of or reminders of Dad. His clothing, bike, shoes, etc all trigger everything from shouting"daddy all gone" to complete screaming/crying meltdowns. We are working through it, but plan to maintain the least stressful daily schedule possible. My thought is if I can eliminate as much outside stress as possible, then dealing with the unavoidable stress of Dad being gone, might be easier.


It is hard to watch her go through all of this, but working to keep a regular schedule and low stress lifestyle for her is certainly helping me deal with Phil's absence. There is always a silver lining, right? Thankfully, some of the coping tools I put in place before Phil left seem to be helping. 2 of 5 deployment books (children's books) that I purchased have become favorites and she insists we read them over and over and over. Her Daddy blanket has worked it's way into our routine. We watch our Daddy video every night and that seems to be by far her favorite part of the whole day.

We are adjusting to life without Phil, and I anticipate that just as we start to feel normal without him, it will be time for R&R and we will have to start the whole process over again! Of course, the second time we should have to process figured out a little better :)