R&R family adventures-more to come

Scarecrow Nora


pick a great pumpkin!



pumpkin masterpieces

sit by me daddy

Pizza Night smiles

Loves daddy!

The princess decides what she wants...

Lobster (and everything else) for two

Daddy and Nora Bouncing together

Bouncing family at Charlie's Safari

It's like a puzzle

Scoopin out the guts

Carve N for Nora

What's in there?

Ready to Paint!

Painting her "little pumpkin"

RubberRoom Rocks!

Super Bounce House Slide!

Daddy and Uncle Gabe had more fun at the Boo Bash than Nora did!

Daddy and his Princess

Fall FUN pics

rainy corn maze!


Mommy and Nora on the Wagon



it was a cold morning on the carousel

"goats hun-gy mommy!"

Before she was pecked by the chicken!

look! Quackies!!!

We are holding a bunny! Bunnies mommy! Bunnies!

More Quackies!

Arrrgh! Kitty Pirate!

Mommy and the Kitty Pirate!

almost in the home stretch!

10 more days. that is right 10 days until Phil SHOULD be home for R&R! After our 14 days of family bliss, we will be in the home stretch of the second hardest year of our marriage. 4 1/2 months will be all we have left once we sadly send him back to his Afghanistan vacation!

Wait. Second hardest year? I know it would seem that a year long deployment with a toddler would be the hardest year. However, Nora's first year of life still takes the prize for the most difficult of my entire life, and most definitely the most difficult of our marriage. I suppose, in some ways surviving that level of stress, worry, and struggle helped prepare me for surviving this.

It stinks having Phil miss everything and it is harder in every way not having his help. It is awful having to worry about where he is and how he is doing and what he is doing. But none of that compares to the 41days of constant fear, stress and worry while Nora was in the hospital. Or to the MONTHS of colic and screaming. Or to the year+ of worrying about milk allergies, respiratory illness, and GERD. We came through all that. All three of us. And though I would never wish to go through it again, I know without a doubt it has made me stronger.

So other than just about wiggling out of my chair with delight over the possibility of SEEING Phil in 10 days, our family has even more news!

Nora after not quite a month of feeding therapy with the speech pathologist is already making leaps and bounds. She is eating better, eating more, and already showing less oral aversion! So much progress that we are no longer planning on having her frenulum clipped! I am overjoyed that my little girl with remain surgery free a little longer and owe unbelievable thanks to Ms. Alix for helping us get here.

Emotionally, Nora is also doing better. She knows Daddy is coming home soon, and I know that helps a lot. She is still having a very bad day here and there, but more often I am able to calm her and help her through the hard times. The techniques and support that the various therapists that we saw offered have helped so much and I am really glad I made the effort to go in and make sure I was doing everything I could for Nora.

I finally was able to register and license the new van!!! Tomorrow morning will be our first trip out in the new snazzy vehicle! Monday we will get our new keys programmed and Tuesday I will get it set up to go on post! By the end of next week we will officially be a TWO car family again :) This an exciting fact now, but will be even more exciting when Phil is home and busy at work.

I don't know how we would manage to have the luxury of this new vehicle without my Dad. His hard work and mad car fixin' skills have allowed us (more than once now) to stay in a good stable place financially. Nora and I will be able to take advantage of all the AWESOME stuff this area has to offer, while Phil will be able to use the car at work as much as need be without worrying about us. We are so thankful for his ability and willingness to help!

Pics of the rockin silver van to come.

Picture Update

Mommy and Nora at the Apple Squeeze

Nora meets a Llama

New Princess earrings

Aunt Emily is so fun!

Aunt Cary and Nora made a new necklace together!

This is what happens when she is quietly playing upstairs...

Nora's first Carousel Ride

Miss Manda came for a visit!

Nora and Orion playing in the giant sandbox at Sand in the City

Half Way Done. seriously?

I am wowed and disappointed by the half way mark of this deployment.



Wowed because, hey, we survived 6 months, we must be able to survive the rest, right? His leaving still feels fresh and painful, so that must mean it hasn't been that long. AND things seem to be getting a little better with Nora.



Disappointed by the obvious. It feels like it has been forever. Nora has changed SOOOO much since he left and he still has 6 more months of her growing and changing to miss out on.



Of course, there is always a silver lining, even if it is a little tarnished sometimes. Ours is of course, Nora's improvement. We had a really bad month and a half, almost two months, and now she seems to be doing a lot better. We haven't had the night terrors for a while, and not as many random crying fits.



The best advancement that comes with this halfway mark is the addition of skype into our communication routine with Phil! So far we have been able to see him twice and it is absolutely the greatest blessing of the entire deployment so far. Nora has been over the moon about the fact that, "I talk Daddy on Mommy's 'pewter". I really think that seeing him and talking to him and getting to interact with him has helped her so much! It has certainly helped me.



We are coming up on the home stretch for all of this. We are approximately 1 month (hopefully a little less) from R&R-14 days of fun with Phil. The next month we will have Thanksgiving at my sister Terry's house to look forward to. The next month 2 weeks in Clarkston for my mom's winter break. The next month Nora's 3rd (I can't believe it) birthday. And only February and March left to survive alone. I am sure I can find ways to fill those :)



The summer has been long and lonely without Phil, but with so much action this winter I know the time will pass faster. HALFWAY DONE!

My own private pity party...

Friday mornings Nora goes to Hourly Care on post-I use our free respite hours from the deployment to clean the house, get my weeks worth of crying over missing Phil, and other random "can't do with Nora underfoot" chores.

Today I feeling especially pitiful. I even downloaded an old song that I think perfectly captures my emotions during deployment. It was popular just after Phil's first deployment. Since I am not tech savvy enough to figure out how to post the actual song, here are the lyrics...

---------------------------------------------------------------

Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

She said, some days I feel like sh**
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along, but the trips always feel so long, and

I find myself tryin' to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call
But when I pick up I don't have much to say, so

I want you to know it's a little messed up
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin'
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please come back home

You know the place where you used to live?
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween with candy by the pile
But now, you only stop by every once in a while

Yeah, I find myself just fillin' my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doin' fine, and I'm plannin' to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have somethin' to say


And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little messed up
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin'
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please come back home

I want you to know it's a little messed up
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin'
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless

It seems one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it

Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please come back home

Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home

---------------------------------------------------------------------

We are surviving and we will make it just fine. But sometimes it feels good just to sit down and have a quiet pity party all to myself. I certainly can't do it when Nora is around (or I try REALLY REALLY hard not to)-she is having a hard enough time without watching Mommy be sad.

It is in the midst of weeks like this that I wonder how people manage to do this for 20, 30 years. The only person I really want to talk to when the day is done, the person I want to share all these tiny details with, the person I want to experience life with, is on the other side of the world without the time or technology to communicate on a daily basis. It is heartbreaking not to share life with him.

I have always said my sister, Terry, and her husband have a 24/7 kind of love. They would be happy to be with each other every moment of every day. Phil and I have more of a 20/7 kind of love. We need a little time to ourselves each day, but at the end of it, I don't want him to spend more than 4-6 hours away from me. I would settle for having him gone during the time between breakfast and dinner. He can eat lunch at work and the other two meals here. at home. with us.

Unfortunately, that isn't a lifestyle offered by his current profession. A girl can dream, right?

Hitting a wall...

As the halfway point in this deployment approaches, all I can think is, "really? we are only HALFway?". Spring can't come quick enough!

It isn't just the lack of help, or missing the company of my best friend, or not getting to watch Daddy play with Nora, that drags down my mood. It is all that PLUS the fact that Phil is lucky enough to be located in the dark ages as far as the modern military goes.

To my Army wife friends: stop reading.

I know that I am not the only one that NEVER gets to skype with her deployed soldier. I know I am not the only that anxiously awaits the 1 phone call a week we manage to get. I know I am not the only one who has NEVER been able to webchat with her hubby while he is deployed. And I know that 50 years ago, hell, 5 years ago the amount of communication we do manage (a few emails a week and 1 call) was a revelation. HOWEVER, when every wife around me seems to be complaining about going 3 days without a call and that the skype (that is used nearly everyday) was choppy and delayed, I often want to scream.

I should be thankful that he is able to call and email at all. I should be thankful he is relatively safe. I should be thankful, but honestly, I'm not. I greedily want more. Our ties feel so fragile and strained from the other side of the world, and not hearing from him, not being able to discuss the day to day, makes him feel even further away.

I am hitting a wall. A big brick wall. I don't want to climb over it or blast through it. I just want to sit down (maybe lay down) in front of it and wait for Phil to come home and help Nora and I work around it. Unfortunately, with a toddler underfoot and a house to take care of, sitting down on the job isn't an option. So, send strong vibes my way that I will get over this halfway slump and power through to the end...6 and 3/4 months to go...